Or so I was told by a coworker. Let me take you back to when I learned this theory. 

I was working and going to school full time so I was reading/studying on my break. Seating was limited so people shared tables. A group found me and asked to join. We became friends over time and began sharing stories and books over lunch and coffee breaks. 

Photo credit: Brandi Kirschbaum

One day on our coffee break one of the guys asked us all how we take our coffee. Someone said black, another cream and sugar, me too: cream and sugar, then one more black. 

He then says, “how you take your coffee is how you like your sex.” 

We didn’t know what he meant. So explained. Black means straight to business, no foreplay. Sweet and creamy means you like it well–sweet. We all looked at each other and burst into an uproarious laughter. 

He said, “I don’t know why you’re all laughing so hard. It’s ruined me. I can’t stand in line at Starbucks without dying knowing how people take their coffee and their sex.” 

Again, boisterous laughter. Then we all looked at each other. He said, “just you wait. It’ll happen to you too.”

Then I shared the story with my friends over the years about coffee and sex and it turns out, he was right. 

It’s true, whenever I’m in a coffee line and I hear whatever drink is ordered, I go back to that day and remember being ruined by him saying: how you take your coffee is how you like your sex. 

I know what you’re thinking, now there’s cold brew, Frappuccino, pour overs. I say think about it: Coffee is still coffee no mater you dress it up. Black or sweet and creamy. 

I didn’t make this up; I’m only sharing what I heard back in 1994. 

How do you take your coffee 😉